- Juline Mosser
Eight Tips to Rebuild Trust in Your Relationship
Updated: Dec 30, 2021
Is it possible to rebuild trust within a relationship? Yes!!
Relationships thrive when partners are able to be themselves, feel
supported, be vulnerable and trust their partner. When those
expectations are not met, trust is broken. We are all aware of the
more common violations of trust, infidelity, lying, etc. However, there
are an endless number of ways, trust can be broken and damage a
relationship. Whether there was one specific transgression or an
endless series of damaging events, trust can be rebuilt if both partners
are equally willing to work towards the same goal. The following tips
can help serve as a foundation for beginning the task of rebuilding
1.) Allow yourself time to heal.
Be positive. Take steps to encourage positive thinking internally and
as a couple. Get to know your partner again; go on first dates, ask silly
questions, determine your love languages.
2.) Have realistic expectations.
Trust is not built in a day. It’s okay to be scared and have “tough”
days. Don’t assume one bad day means trust cannot be rebuilt. Be
aware of ALWAYS and NEVER thinking. “You’re always doing things
with your friends.” “You never support me” “We never do what I
want to do” Look for positive examples.
3.) Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Be vulnerable with your communication, doubts and fears. Discuss
situations when they happen instead of holding grudges. Holding on
to doubts and fears only create distance between you and your
partner. Look towards your partner instead of away. Give them the
opportunity to support you.
4.) Leave your ego at the door.
The enemies of trust building are blame and ego. Make changes that
may be challenging to you, but to demonstrate that you are invested in
the relationship and you want to heal. Don’t point fingers. When you
catch yourself blaming or accusing, take that as a sign that you need a
break. Come back when you’ve had time to decompress and start
again without walls of defense.
5.) Learn to fight fair.
Remove the individual scoreboard and fight as if you are on the same
team. Realize by “winning” the fight, your team is losing. Try to
understand where your partner is coming from. Make it a priority to
communicate face to face and never via text or email to ensure they
are able to hear your thoughts and feelings.
6.) Listen and pay attention.
Communicate openly, remove distractions, and focus on your partner.
Put away social media, turn off the t.v., and make time for important
conversations. Plan time to “check in” face to face with your partner.
Listen to what they have to say and ask, “What I’m hearing you say
7.) Set goals and dream together.
Make plans for your future. How do you want to grow personally,
professionally, and as a couple? Your partner is your biggest support.
Let them in on your dreams and dream together.
8.) Have courage.
Fear of broken trust will only perpetuate the cycle. When fear of
broken trust enters your thinking, connect openly with your partner
and seek support. Resist the negativity and take the risk.